(i) I and my rustic boss are the Lords of the ring who
brought you out of the land of the Communists; thou shall not owe allegiance
to any other gods (especially those that may seem like Maya).
(ii) Thou shall not let the names of thy Lords be taken in
vain (even by the so-called Central Bureau of Investigation).
(iii) Thou shall declare a minimum support level of 20,000
for the Sensex just as thou provideth support price for various commodities.
Thou shall create a mechanism by which thy government would ensure that the
index remains above that level. To help thy cause, thou shall replicate the
tactics used by some honourable corporate houses, like buybacks, bonus, et al.
(iv) Fix the value of thy currency at 40 versus that of thy
new-found nuclear partner. Thou shall not let the so-called market forces
determine the rupee value. (A fluctuating rupee disturbs our personal foreign
exchange earnings arithmetic, you see).
(v) Thou shall not let thy Reserve Bank chief lord over
that alluring pile of $ 300 billion-plus forex earnings. Why should a
bureaucrat get to manage such enormous wealth which ought to be kept at the
disposal of jet-setting politicians. It is criminal to accumulate a large pool
of dollars, especially when the rest of the pariwar aren’t allowed to raise
deposits.
(vi) Thou shall not adulterate the gas flowing from the KG
Basin, especially that’s supposed to flow into the plants of similar sounding
corporate biggies.
(vii) Thou shall not steal in public, but we shall not
condemn if thou doth it through innovative schemes like windfall tax, envy
tax, export tax, fast-growing conglomerate tax or any other which your
lawyer-finance minister and his cronies can come up with.
(viii) Honour the first family of Bollywood, that thy days
may be long upon the land which thy Lords have given thee. The fortunes of all
the members of this family being susceptible to the vagaries of Box Office,
thou shall frame a policy that would ensure that all the members of this
family are employed throughout their lifetime. Thou shall delight us to no end
if thy FM declares tax concessions for all movie productions where at least
one member of this family has a role.
(ix) Thou shall not covet your neighbour’s (we mean
corporates) goods. (All coveting shall be done by us).
(x) To celebrate the Passover from the clutches of your
erstwhile masters and to atone for thy past sins, thou shall throw a party
where thou shall raise a toast to our extended pariwar and the gates shall
remain closed for your estranged partner.
(Source : The Economic Times, 12-7-2008)
