Jai India

“You didn’t recognise me. I am Rahul Gandhi from Delhi” said
the prince dusting his Ray Ban goggles. Dynastic young MPs from the Congress
party and its allies (note we are in ‘coalition era’, so allies) accompanying
the prince Rahul shouted in chorus ‘Rahulji Zindabad’, ‘Rahulji Aage Badho, Hum
Tumhare Sath Hai’. With this slogan-shouting, the tiny village came to life. The
otherwise jobless villagers thronged to where the prince had located Kalawati
and Shashikala, first to have a close look of the ‘chopper’ and then for a
cursory glimpse of a would-be Prime Minister of India.

“Silence, Silence” one of the young MPs screamed with full
steam in his lungs.

“Ladies and Gentlemen !”

“Why are you leaving out the children ?” a query came from
the crowd.

“Ok, Ok Ladies, Gentlemen and Children, including children on
the waists of their mothers — now I hope you would be happy. Rahulji is back
with you after winning ‘confidence vote’ to inform and interact with you about
the nuclear energy deal”. As he ended his mini introductory speech, somebody
from the crowd queried,

“Who is this Rahul ? I mean Rahul Mahajan or Rahul Gandhi ?”

“Oh my God ! my dear uncle I mean, Rahuljiiiii Gandhijiiiiii . . .  . .”

There was big laughter. As the noise died down, the prince
Rahul took charge of the gullible mob of villagers and started his speech :

“As an Indian (why Indian ?) I stand before you. My dear
countrymen, trust me, we won the motion of confidence moved by our (what do you
mean by our Prime Minister ?) Prime Minister Manmohan Singh just a few hours
ago. I am here to convey to you how ‘nuclear deal’ with the USA is the only
solution to eradicate ‘your’ poverty, I mean poverty in this country. When I met
Kalawati and Shashikala from your village before the Parliamentary Session
convened for the confidence motion, I heard their plight, their children cannot
study at night due to power shortage in this area. I realised that nuclear
energy is the only solution to remove the poverty in this country. You will ask
me, how ? With nuclear energy there will be rapid industrial growth. India will
be the industrial hub of the world. It will create millions of jobs. Then there
will be no poverty in the country. Therefore my dear countrymen, nuclear energy
is the only solution to remove poverty from this country. I am sure after long
long years, at least 20 to 30 years, we will have full-fledged nuclear energy in
the country if we now strike a deal with America. Consequently, sons of Kalawati
and Shashikala will get jobs.

My dear countrymen, one more thing I would like to tell you,
we should not worry about how the world will impact us. We should impact the
world. We should train ourselves to dream of things that never were there and
ask why not, then only we will become a super power in the world of tomorrow.
Say, Jai India, Jai India, Jai India !”

All young MPs and villagers recited the new slogan coined by
the prince of modern India with a bit of confusion, some were saying ‘Jai Hind’
and some were saying ‘Jai India’. What a speech indeed ! It appeared that
majority of villagers were more confused than convinced by the speech of the
prince.

All the young MPs including the prince felt thirsty. Of late
they realised that they were under the scorching sun of Vidarbha where monsoon
plays hide and seek. When they thronged the chopper to grab a water bottle, alas
the villagers had either consumed or taken away all the crates of water bottles.
The prince was very furious. He asked to check the whereabouts of the pilot. The
pilot was smoking in a relaxed mood behind the tree just a stone’s throw away
from the chopper. Somebody shouted his name. Hurriedly the pilot took a last
drag and spun the butt. He appeared before the prince. The prince started to
berate the pilot left, right and centre. An old villager in his 70s came forward
and intervened,

“My son why are you so angry with the pilot ? Cool down, this
area has been suffering from water shortage since your great grandfather was
Prime Minister of this country. People in this village are thirsty as well as
hungry. They may have consumed the water bottles. For them a drop of water is
more important than one megawatt of electricity created with the help of nuclear
energy. Apart from your great grandpa, neither your grandma, nor your father
could remove the poverty from this country. My son, poverty is our ancestral
property. You talked about future of this country after 20 to 30 years, but what
about those intervening period of 20 to 30 years, poverty will grow in geometric
progression. So my son, don’t try to cook a ‘khichadi’ [nuclear energy, rapid
industrialisation, jobs to millions, no poverty ?] of Birbal under the fire of
‘nuclear energy’ for us.”

“You talked about impacting the world, mind you, with empty stomachs and dry throats of millions, living without shelter, you cannot impact the world. It is easier said than done (in the Parliament of India) to impact the world.”

My son, your great grandfather discovered ancient India and wrote a book ‘Discovery of India’. Now it is for you to ‘Rediscover’ India after independence and don’t write a book, it is not enough now, but ‘write off’ the poverty in this country. Jai Hind.”

There was a loud applause. Spontaneously all of them shouted “Jai Hind, Jai Hind, Jai Hind.”

The prince of New Delhi with his head down to the ground slowly walked towards ‘East’ where the chopper was parked.