Dear members of BCAS family,
I have been out of practice (pun intended) for many years now since I joined the industry. I had almost forgotten how busy practicing CAs get in a few months in a year. Come September and they become unavailable to friends and family and are completely at the service of their clients. As most of the active core group members, including the office bearers are practicing Chartered Accountants, the activities at BCAS were a wee bit slow.
So a text from my daughter gave me time to reflect on a few things. But first her text; “Papa, can we reschedule our dinner tonight, please? I am so sorry but have to go for dinner with a few friends. Thank you for your understanding!”
The text got me thinking. Yes, I was upset that I couldn’t spend quality time with her, as I had planned. Then why was I not angry? And it struck me… It was the three golden words that she used in her text which set the tone of the text as a very polite request. What if her text read – “Dad, am cancelling dinner. Meeting my best friend for her birthday”?
What am I talking about? What else but the three magic words – Sorry, Please and Thank You! Please–Order someone to do something and they may do it grudgingly, but request that person and you will see him smile. Notice the change in demeanour between ordering an employee to fetch a file and requesting him to get the file. Think about how you felt when you were summoned and how you felt when your presence was requested. What is it about “please” that pleases us and changes the equation between two persons? The fact is that we often take relationships for granted and order people to do things for us instead of requesting them to do us a favour. What is the response from the other person? A wife feels inferior, children are scared and employees are disdainful. A short and simple “Please”, makes the other person feel gracious.
Sorry–They say, “to err is human…” and we do exercise this right. But it takes a lot of courage to accept our mistakes and apologise for them. Saying sorry does not make a person any inferior. In fact, the person is perceived as being honest and is respected. Sorry expresses so many feelings—“I am sorry” – apology, “I am sorry for your loss” – sorrow/sympathy, “I am sorry I said that” – regret, “It’s a sorry situation” – pity. Many of us would have realised the importance of sorry at one point of time or another. For those who have not yet realised its significance, here’s a perspective – Australia, a whole nation, commemorates the mistreatment of a part of its population by having a “National Sorry Day” every year on 26th May, since 1998!
Thank You – Not a day goes by without us taking help from another person, be it family, friends or colleagues and even strangers. Have we ever acknowledged the favours we took? Did we thank the liftman for dropping us at the right floor while we were busy on a call? What about our staff which works round the clock to help us meet deadlines? Do we thank our parents for their fabulous upbringing? Have we thanked our wife for managing the house so efficiently while we are busy at work? Did we remember to thank our husband for supporting our career when husbands in other houses don’t let their wives work? These are small acts of kindness and easy to overlook.
From the time we start our day till we step into our bed for a good night’s sleep, we have taken a number of favours. However, how many times do we thank the other person truly? Why not be free and generous in saying Thank You! Express your gratitude! It does not take away your credit, but definitely makes the other person happy and more willing to help you the next time!
These three simple words can work wonders for people. Genuine use of these words in day-to-day communication with people brings a definite change in the way people respond. Then it doesn’t matter if it is business or personal life.
How do we feel when we are wronged and the other person doesn’t apologise for it? How about not being thanked for a favour? And how about being ordered and not requested to perform a task?
Doesn’t this sound rude?
There is a saying we learnt in school —“Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you”. If I am not polite in my dealings with others, do I have any right to be offended by their rudeness? At the same time, if I am gracious, polite and sensitive, does the other person have any reason to be rude to me?
These three short and simple words sure have a lot of power. They can make a friend out of a foe.
Don’t they add a touch of kindness in this increasingly busy world? In a life which is becoming more and more mechanical, these words help to make relationships human.
These are not just tools for communicating but also for connecting. Many people find ways to express these sentiments in innovative ways. Munnabhai gives his Jaadu ki jhappi. My friend, Lt. Gen. Ata Hasnain has his “10 handshakes-a-day” rule.
I am brought out of my reverie by a knock at my office door by the peon. I ask for a cup of tea and after a split-second, remember to say “please”.
Kudos to the person who invented these three magic words!
Here’s wishing everyone happiness and love.
With Warm Regards
Naushad A. Panjwani
