Antim Namaskar

In the first week of January 2017, I came across a quotation:

“If this was the last year of your life what would you
be doing different”

It got me thinking. I realised deep within me that this was
perhaps the last year of my life. I wrote this quote down on the first page of
my BCAS Diary in early January 2017 and thus began a new journey of
introspection, expression, sharing, caring and doing.

I remembered that in Mahabharata there is an interesting
conversation between Yaksha and Yudhishthir, where Yaksha asks a series of
questions and each one is answered by Yudhishthir most eloquently. One of these
questions and answers that comes to my mind is:

Yaksha:        What is the greatest wonder?

Yudhishthir:
   Every man knows that death is
the ultimate truth of life. However, he wishes otherwise.”

I would add to this, that not only
most of us wish otherwise, but we also go on living our lives as if we are
going to live forever.

In early July 2017, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness –
an illness that left me no treatment options and a short remaining life span.
When my daughter, with a quivering voice, broke this news to me, it took me but
an instance to decide what I would do. I decided to accept my condition with
utmost grace. I resolved that I will continue to be happy and spread happiness.

This article for the “Namaskaar’ feature is likely to be my
last communication with my readers. Writing Namaskaar articles, sharing them
with people who are not BCAJ subscribers, receiving feedback, knowing that
something in the article has touched someone deeply and thinking of the next
topic and next article have been a very satisfying part of my life in the past
decade. It is this engagement with the ‘Namaskaar’ column that made me see good
in everything around me, made me understand what is important in life, and most
of all helped me communicate with a large number of readers on a regular basis.
As part of my last journey, I wish to express my gratitude to the readers of
‘Namaskaar’ articles and share my parting thoughts.

For several months, before I fell ill, I was trying to reach
my good friend Chandravadan Shah, but with no success. When I was admitted to
Bhatia Hospital, a common friend who came to meet me asked me “Pradeepbhai, do
you know Chandravadanbhai is admitted to this very hospital in the room right
across yours?” And instantly came a great realisation – that which we search
for far and wide, is always very close to us, often within us. The beautiful
lines of a song directed by Pankaj Mallick and sung by Dhananjay Bhattacharya
capture this ultimate truth:

I implore you to search within, and you will find answers to
the questions that have eluded you for years. Many of your quests that have
taken you on a wild goose chase may also end within you.

As I embark on my final journey,
several beautiful verses fill my entire being. The melodious song of Farida
Khanum has these beautiful lines:

In the day-to-day demands of your life, you will find a few
moments of freedom, a few moments that you can do what your heart truly wants.
Don’t suppress these moments, don’t let these moments fritter away. There will
always be deadlines and commitments, opportunities to be chased and lectures to
be delivered, new laws to be studied and bills to be raised…. amidst this,
don’t let the beautiful sunset escape your eyes and don’t let the opportunity
to lift someone’s spirit with your smile slip away. At the end of your journey
you will realise that these few moments of freedom were the most meaningful
part of your life’s journey.

At the end of our life, when
one becomes old and weak, one wonders, why did we tire ourselves? After all, we
had a simple journey to make – from the cradle to the grave. As beautifully
captured in this Gujarati couplet by poet ‘Befam’ Barkat Virani

As I lie on my hospital bed reflecting on my life and that of
many others, I am realising that a lot of our struggles are meaningless and not
necessary. There is so much beauty and goodness to experience, and life, in its
essence is effortless. We make it a struggle by our expectations, our greed,
our outer appearances, our inability to appreciate what we have and most of
all, believing that there will be time later to enjoy all that has to be
enjoyed.

Time is precious. Time is ticking away. And, one day there
will be no tomorrow.

Friends, I came across this beautiful quotation “If
this was the last year of your life what would you be doing different” on
what was to be the last year of my life. How I wish I had come across this
earlier and lived several years as if each of them was the last year of my
life.

I wish all of you a long life, but I also wish that you can
live each year of your remaining life as if it is your last one…. living it
fully, resolving conflicts, clearing misgivings, saying the unspoken words of
appreciation and gratitude, experiencing the joy of giving and loving with abundance.

As I bid farewell, I end with these lines from “Gitanjali” of
Rabindranath Tagore:

“I have got my leave.

Bid me farewell, my brothers!

I bow to you all and take my
departure.

Here I give back the keys of my door – and I give up all
claims to my house.

I only ask for last kind words
from you.

We were neighbours for long, but I have received more than
I could give.

Now the day has dawned and the lamp that lit my dark
corner is out.

A summons has come and I am ready for my journey.

At this time of parting, wish me good luck my friends!

The sky is flushed with the dawn and my path lies
beautiful.

Ask not what I Have with me to take there.

I start my journey with empty
hands and expectant heart.”

Editorial Note: