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“Empathy is . . . . . your pain in my heart” — Author unknown
More than 2500 years ago, Gautam Buddha gave the world a message “Be Compassionate”. Since those times there have been many saints who served mankind with compassion. Mother Teresa taught us compassion by putting it in practice . . . . . . It is a quality which is truly divine, and one which raises an ordinary human being to great heights.
It is time we intellectuals, the so-called cream of the society learn to be compassionate. We have to agree that as children we were far more compassionate than we are as adults. Compassion flows naturally from a child. It is only when the child grows up, and sees things happening around him, that he starts becoming less and less aware of others’ suffering. He starts becoming more and more thick-skinned and insensitive to the pain and unhappiness of others.
As explained by Rashmi Bansal in “I have a dream” there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who think and those who feel. As we grow up, we increasingly become ‘thinkers’ from being ‘feelers’. As thinkers we tend to believe that “the suffering of others is their problem. We have nothing to do with it and have no responsibility towards our brethren. We see the world as a place with boundaries. What is mine and what is not mine. Anything happening in that part of the world which is not mine is not my problem. I do not have any obligation towards people in the other part”.
It is time we changed our mindset. There has to be a paradigm shift. We have to look at the world as a whole, and everyone in it as a part of one family. “Vasudhaiva kutumbakam” say our scriptures. We have to move out of our apathy to become not only sympathetic, but truly empathetic.
There is a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy flows from pity. In sympathising one’s ego is at play. One believes that “I am helping”. This is not so in empathy. Empathy has no involvement of EGO. In sympathy, it is pity which drives one to help. In empathy it is compassion in one’s heart that makes one act. One remembers the lines of Gandhiji’s favourite bhajan:
But how can one graduate from being sympathetic to being empathetic? A learned thinker was explaining on the TV that unless one suffers some pain, one does not act. A person suffering from diabetes tends to ignore it as there are no symptoms, no pain. If one has a headache, or even a small cut on the finger, one promptly attends to it because there is pain. If we merely read about the sufferings of others, or watch it on the TV, it does not impact us. But if we actually see ‘suffering’ it moves us to act. Emperor Ashoka changed when he saw the suffering of the dying on the battlefield of Kalinga. From a Conquering Emperor, he became a Messenger of Peace.
If people, particularly those who are young, visit places like orphanages, hospitals and schools for the poor people, particularly in the rural areas, it is likely that they will become sensitive. Emotions will stir their hearts. Perhaps some may even realise that it is merely by chance and their good fortune that they have been born in better economic environments. They could well have been in the place of those poor and downtrodden people. I believe such visits will certainly make them empathetic and they will become alive to the needs of the hungry, the homeless and the disadvantaged. Many will learn to stretch out a helping hand. They will also experience the joy of giving which leads to true happiness. I conclude by quoting His Holiness the Dalai Lama:
“Kindness and compassion are among the principal things that make our lives meaningful. They are a source of lasting happiness and joy. They are the foundations of a good heart, the heart of one who acts out of a desire to help others.”
Let us be compassionate.
