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November 2012

The Art of ‘Giving’

By K. C. Narang, Chartered Accountant
Reading Time 3 mins
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‘Giving: giving is not just a quality that you nurture; it is the very nature of life.’

—Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

‘Giving’ is advocated by all religions, castes and creeds and even by the ‘atheist’. The issues are : what do we mean by ‘Giving’ and how should one ‘give’. The issues I have are:

• is it ‘giving’ when you expect a return – may be a ‘thank you’. I believe it is not ‘giving’ but is a barter. If I am not wrong Jesus said, ‘Give in a manner that the left hand does not know what the right hand is giving’.

• is having your photograph taken or name plate placed in return for ‘giving’. We all, including the author, indulge in it. But is it ‘giving’! One is seeking acknowledgement – a reward. However, it is better than not ‘giving’.

• is it ‘giving’ – eg – when you present something to someone and expect the person to look after what you have ‘given’ in the manner you desire. Is it giving: when you say ‘take care of it – it is expensive’. The answer is, ‘no’, because you in your mind are still retaining ownership. ‘Giving’ should free oneself of the feeling of ownership.

Concept of charity – ‘giving’ – also makes one feel superior – it feeds the ego. This is what has to be avoided whilst ‘giving’. ‘Giving’ probably also makes the receiver feel……. This also has to be and should be avoided – not only consciously but also subconsciously. When you give – give with a feeling that you are giving to yourself – this would unite you with the receiver and eliminate any feeling of superiority.

‘Giving’ however, is not restricted to tangibles – for example – ‘giving’ can be of time coupled with patience – that is what is listening – nay real listening. It relieves a person of a burden – clears his agitated or disturbed mind – calms him, makes him responsive to a suggestion or a solution. Time is one of the finest means of ‘giving’. Kahlil Gibran has rightly said:

‘You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.’

Giving , in my view , is also a self serving act because all texts say and all noble persons preach that ‘give and it will be given to you… for the measure you give will be the measure you get back’. This expectation again makes giving a barter, a deal full of expectations – seeking a reward not from the recipient but from the Almighty. Hence, it again is not giving in true sense. As mentioned earlier giving has to be without expectation. Giving should be for self satisfaction and not self glorification.

If the above are not ‘giving’ then what is ‘giving’. ‘Giving’, in my view, is ‘sharing’ – because when you share you share out of love, you have no expectations. ‘Sharing’ reminds me of an instance reported in a newspaper: ‘a beggar in Gujarat used his savings of Rs. 3000 in distributing clothes in an orphanage. When asked: why have you done it! His response was: ‘Hame Khushi Hoi’. It gave him pleasure. In short, the beggar was ‘sharing’ without any expectation. He wasn’t probably expecting even a ‘thank you’. He was doing for his pleasure. This is real ‘giving’. On ‘giving’ Buddha says:

‘If you know what I know about the power of giving, you would not have a single meal in your life without first sharing it with someone’.

So, let us share and give meaning and feeling to ‘giving’.

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